Draw Lines, Not Circles

​

A few days ago, a friend contacted me.

She told me she had met a girl who was kind of my vibe — and that I absolutely had to meet her.

 

I said, “Sure, no problem. Give her my number or Insta, she’s always welcome to reach out. I’m always open to connect with like-minded souls.”

So yes… I was curious.

 

A few days later, I get a WhatsApp message:

 

“Hey, I got your number. I’m a certified sound healer and yoga instructor. When we were talking, she mentioned you.

I’m not sure what kind of community you have, but if you’re interested in sound healing and/or yoga sessions, we can discuss the details.”

 

Instantly I felt my body reacting.

Do you know that feeling when you get goosebumps in a creepy way — and a slight grrrr rises inside you?

It’s like your whole system suddenly whispers: "Protect your energy."

 

I immediately explained my boundaries — what I do, where I stand for — and she said she understood.

So I told her that I love connecting with people, but I’m very protective of my energy and of who I share it with… especially in those kinds of circles.

 

Because the truth is:

I hate circles.

I can’t stand the floaty, sticky, spiritual bullshit.

 

Ever since I discovered my whole truth about that world, I kind of spit on it.

Why would I sit around a fire, play drums with strangers, and share my deepest pain with people whose energy I don’t even know?

 

Do you know how powerful energy is — how sacred yours is?

 

Since I learned to speak my truth and trust my gut, I decided:

"Never again will I sit in that kind of circle with fucking strangers."

 

And don’t get me wrong — it’s not about them.

It’s about me.

My issue. My pain. My history. My trauma.

 

But there’s nothing wrong with trauma.

Trauma is experience. It’s wisdom — you just need to make sure you never repeat the same mistake again.

 

In the end, I was glad she understood.

Because yes… I’m still that empath who never wants to hurt anyone.

 

And still, I keep wondering — why do I get that feeling?

Because in the past, I joined many circles.

I even went twice to India, to Amma’s ashram. I was totally in it — surrendered.

 

I saw a lot.

But back then, I thought: If I don’t feel it, if I don’t get that unconditional love everyone talks about… it must be me.

I truly believed I just needed to surrender more.

 

But do we need to love unconditionally?

Can love even be unconditional?

 

Maybe yes — but only with boundaries.

 

You have to love yourself unconditionally.

But loving another person unconditionally?

I’m not convinced anymore.

My love is conditional.

It has limits — for my friends, my partner, even my parents.

 

Because love is a verb.

It’s something you both invest in.

If that’s not happening — you have to let go, so you can love yourself unconditionally again.

​

Another thing I used to let sink into my mind:

In the spiritual world they often say,

 

“A woman’s cycle must align with the moon — menstruating with the full moon, ovulating with the new moon.” 

 

(And yes — that’s the traditional belief: bleed with the full moon, ovulate with the new one.)

 

But what if it doesn’t?

Does that make you a bad woman?

Out of balance? Not in touch with your womb?

Do I need more herbs, more meditation, more little prayers?

 

For years, I felt bad that my body didn’t follow the moon cycles.

I have f*cking endometriosis and the most irregular cycle ever — between 29 and 35 days.

 

So what then?

Am I just one of the unlucky ones who’ll never earn a “holy ticket” to enlightenment?

 

Even with all the wisdom I’ve gained now, it still creeps into my head sometimes.

That’s what abuse does to you — it gets into your system, your beliefs.

 

And yes, you can find “truth” everywhere.

People are convinced by all kinds of theories.

 

But then I have just one question:

 

✨ If we’re all meant to be so unique — why do we think we all have to be the same? ✨

​

​

I always find it fascinating how a simple situation can stir up so much inside of you — how it triggers reflection and insight.

For some, it might feel like too big of a mirror, but through the years I’ve learned that daring to look and question yourself — the how, what, where, and why — brings so much clarity.

 

You don’t have to follow anyone or anything blindly — that was my biggest mistake ever.

​

Dare to raise those eyebrows, let those forehead wrinkles roll,

because all that truly matters is what makes you happy, whole, and sacred. 

 

​